Happy Sunday. It's a day full of love and praise and sometimes hippocracy. I know that I should be over what happened. It's been so long ago after all. But whenever I think about it; my heart sinks and I am angry all over again. Not many people remember the way that this church split in two. Not many people are still here that were in on the conspiracy. But this girl who watched the man who showed me Jesus run out of our church over pure stupidity. It was on my birthday I watched him resign and to this day; the memory if what happened haunts me and Ihate birthdays. I know I should forgive. I know I should forget but I am not the perfect Christian that I try to portray to the world around me. I am still hurt. I paint on a happy face and try to move on with my life but this is the kind of thing that is hard for me to forget or to forgive.
Life is moving forward and I forget for a time but the moment that I walk in the doors; it hits me again like a ton of bricks. I wonder if it was because me as a little girl held her tongue because I knew that even if the people heard me that they wouldn't really hear me. Maybe I am just a hippocrite.
Part of the hippocracy that I speak of is me. I am ashamed that I still hold into such anger and hostility. Maybe someday I'll move on and get over it; but for now the only advice that I can give you is to not be like me. Don't hold onto all the hurt and pain and all the frustration. Let it go or it will eat away at you.
Life is moving forward and I forget for a time but the moment that I walk in the doors; it hits me again like a ton of bricks. I wonder if it was because me as a little girl held her tongue because I knew that even if the people heard me that they wouldn't really hear me. Maybe I am just a hippocrite.
Part of the hippocracy that I speak of is me. I am ashamed that I still hold into such anger and hostility. Maybe someday I'll move on and get over it; but for now the only advice that I can give you is to not be like me. Don't hold onto all the hurt and pain and all the frustration. Let it go or it will eat away at you.