Today has been laundry day and it's been a relatively lazy day for myself. Seeing that it's cold and I have been feeling really lazy today, all I've got done today is a few loads of laundry. I am okay with that. Yesterday I cleaned the living room. So yay for yesterday.
Today I realized that this has become a pattern in my life. I say I'm going to do something and then I procrastinate until I don't have time to do it. Then I justify not doing it by saying that I just didn't have time to do said thing. But to be honest I should just acknowledge the fact that I am probably just not going to do so anyway. I am a procrastinator. And that is what I have mentioned in previous posts. I am a procrastinator. And I realized something today. The first step in getting better is to acknowledge that there is indeed a problem.
So I have decided that something has to change. I can't keep living this same way and expecting things to change. Why? You might ask me. Why? Because that is actually the definition of insanity. I can't keep doing what I've been doing and expect the outcome to be different. I have to change. I have to want to change. And do you want to know that is actually different this time? This time I actually want to change. I have to do something or I am going to lose myself. Again. I just found myself. I am not ready to let it go.
These past few years I have been actually quite depressed. I felt so alone. Because here I am in Texas. Meanwhile all my friends are living Oklahoma. I had no one here to talk to that wasn't actually related to me. And most of the time I was feeling like I wasn't really part of the family that I am a part of. I don't know why can't seem to connect to the people that I should connect with. I have felt so alone. Which is why I am so grateful for these past few months. I have felt more like myself tha. I have felt in years. I have something that I haven't had in years.
Hope
I now know that there are people out there that do care about me. Whether I always can feel it or not. I know that there are people that do care about me. Whether it be my amazing customers at work. Or people in the community. Or even the loving people of Facebook or the Internet. I love all of you and it is thanks to you that I am back to being myself again. But there is one person that I would like to thank for keeping me sane. Okay that's not exactly true. There are a few people that have helped me through everything. Kept me from going under when I could feel myself drowning.
Khelsea. . . You are amazing! You always are willing to talk to me about boy trouble or just feeling like the world is trying to kill me. You make me feel like I can do anything. You go with me (drive me) to weddings four states away. Road trips. Things are always awesome when I am around you. And I appreciate you for that. Thank you.
Jessi. . . You are also amazing. You talk to me. You talk to me even though you are married, with a good job, and all the cross fit you and your husband are into. (Sorry I am not all into fitness but I am trying to get into it a lot more than I was.) I could say thank you to people in my life without saying thanks to you for the last ten years of friendship. Yeah. It's been ten years. As of July. And the rollercoaster was definitely worth it. I am glad that I was able to go along for the ride.
Alex. . . Hey you awesome dude of awesomeness. Can't leave you out of the conversation. Thanks Alex. For always being there for me. For always being there when I need to talk to someone. Like being there when I am driving home at two in the morning from seeing Fluffy live. You never get mad at me when I can and wake you up or call you when I know you're busy with your friends and forget and call you anyway. I want you to know that I appreciate you for everything.
My parents. . . For raising me and never giving up on me. I love y'all and you are amazing. For always pushing me to be all I can be. Thanks for everything. I love you.
And everyone else that I always seem to forget. Sorry. You are amazing people. God bless y'all.
I bet you're wondering what made me start to thank everyone for everything. I guess that with Thanksgiving being this month I started thinking about all the things that I am proud of and all the people I am proud of. And I guess that I get a little sentimental while watching Harry Potter in my living room.
And I am really proud to call all of you my friends and my family. I finally know what I am thankful for. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for my family. And I am thankful for my internet friends and family.
Thank you you for being amazing.
I'm sorry that I have been rambling on bit. But I think I got my point across even if I am a little on the rambling side tonight.
Thats it it for tonight. Goodnight and God Bless!
And always remember to expect the unexpected.
Love Always,
Dayna H.
p.s. I'll be back soon. Hope all of y'all have sweet dreams.
Today I realized that this has become a pattern in my life. I say I'm going to do something and then I procrastinate until I don't have time to do it. Then I justify not doing it by saying that I just didn't have time to do said thing. But to be honest I should just acknowledge the fact that I am probably just not going to do so anyway. I am a procrastinator. And that is what I have mentioned in previous posts. I am a procrastinator. And I realized something today. The first step in getting better is to acknowledge that there is indeed a problem.
So I have decided that something has to change. I can't keep living this same way and expecting things to change. Why? You might ask me. Why? Because that is actually the definition of insanity. I can't keep doing what I've been doing and expect the outcome to be different. I have to change. I have to want to change. And do you want to know that is actually different this time? This time I actually want to change. I have to do something or I am going to lose myself. Again. I just found myself. I am not ready to let it go.
These past few years I have been actually quite depressed. I felt so alone. Because here I am in Texas. Meanwhile all my friends are living Oklahoma. I had no one here to talk to that wasn't actually related to me. And most of the time I was feeling like I wasn't really part of the family that I am a part of. I don't know why can't seem to connect to the people that I should connect with. I have felt so alone. Which is why I am so grateful for these past few months. I have felt more like myself tha. I have felt in years. I have something that I haven't had in years.
Hope
I now know that there are people out there that do care about me. Whether I always can feel it or not. I know that there are people that do care about me. Whether it be my amazing customers at work. Or people in the community. Or even the loving people of Facebook or the Internet. I love all of you and it is thanks to you that I am back to being myself again. But there is one person that I would like to thank for keeping me sane. Okay that's not exactly true. There are a few people that have helped me through everything. Kept me from going under when I could feel myself drowning.
Khelsea. . . You are amazing! You always are willing to talk to me about boy trouble or just feeling like the world is trying to kill me. You make me feel like I can do anything. You go with me (drive me) to weddings four states away. Road trips. Things are always awesome when I am around you. And I appreciate you for that. Thank you.
Jessi. . . You are also amazing. You talk to me. You talk to me even though you are married, with a good job, and all the cross fit you and your husband are into. (Sorry I am not all into fitness but I am trying to get into it a lot more than I was.) I could say thank you to people in my life without saying thanks to you for the last ten years of friendship. Yeah. It's been ten years. As of July. And the rollercoaster was definitely worth it. I am glad that I was able to go along for the ride.
Alex. . . Hey you awesome dude of awesomeness. Can't leave you out of the conversation. Thanks Alex. For always being there for me. For always being there when I need to talk to someone. Like being there when I am driving home at two in the morning from seeing Fluffy live. You never get mad at me when I can and wake you up or call you when I know you're busy with your friends and forget and call you anyway. I want you to know that I appreciate you for everything.
My parents. . . For raising me and never giving up on me. I love y'all and you are amazing. For always pushing me to be all I can be. Thanks for everything. I love you.
And everyone else that I always seem to forget. Sorry. You are amazing people. God bless y'all.
I bet you're wondering what made me start to thank everyone for everything. I guess that with Thanksgiving being this month I started thinking about all the things that I am proud of and all the people I am proud of. And I guess that I get a little sentimental while watching Harry Potter in my living room.
And I am really proud to call all of you my friends and my family. I finally know what I am thankful for. I am thankful for my friends. I am thankful for my family. And I am thankful for my internet friends and family.
Thank you you for being amazing.
I'm sorry that I have been rambling on bit. But I think I got my point across even if I am a little on the rambling side tonight.
Thats it it for tonight. Goodnight and God Bless!
And always remember to expect the unexpected.
Love Always,
Dayna H.
p.s. I'll be back soon. Hope all of y'all have sweet dreams.