Today was the day that Taylor Swift dropped her new cd. I have to admit to you that I wasn't really impressed with it at first. But after listening to it a few times, I realized that I actually really do like it. This new cd isn't for everyone but I think that it shows people where this artist is at this time period of her life. I think this is the album that we should've been expecting. It's a good album. That's just this woman's opinion on the matter though. Taylor Swift will never care about at I have to say but that's okay. I am never going to be on her radar. Nothing I ever write will be read by her. It's not what I was meant for. I am not the best writer out there. I am not the best around here either. I'm not trying to be the best though. I am merely trying to let my voice be heard. And I am blessed that I have as many readers as I do right now. I am grateful that anyone would want to read anything that I write.
I guess you can probably tell that I am listening to her cd at the moment. If you didn't know then you do now.
Today has been interesting. I've been exhausted all day. And I have no clue why I am so tired. Probably someone out there will say that it's because I never shut up and go to sleep. And you might be right. I never know when to shut up. I keep running my mouth and I don't quit until it starts getting awkward. This is something that I need to work on. But that is another first step to getting better. At least I know that I need to work on that. I could be going around annoying people and not seeing it. But I know that I ramble on and on and on. It's what I seem to do best.
But that really isn't what I came here to talk about. The problem is that I can't remember what I started to write about today. I feel like Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter with the remembral his grandmother sent him his first year. I can remember that I was forgetting something. I just don't know what I am forgetting. That is okay. I usually figure it out about midnight when I no longer need what I forgot.
Today my dad got a new phone in the mail. And it's a straight talk iPhone. I am jealous of his iPhone. I miss mine so much more than I would like to admit to myself but that's life.
Tonight I was the only cashier the whole night. But that's okay. It wasn't anything that I couldn't handle. I'm tougher now than I have ever been in my life. Things are actually going my way for the first time in so long that I can't remember the last time that things felt like this. Which makes me a little bit paranoid. I keep thinking that I am too happy. At any moment something is going to happen to strip the happiness from my life again. My friend depression that I have been trying to ditch. But that little guy always seems to want to come back to the party again. Over and over and over. I have to defeat him. He's not a good friend. He's the kind of friend that likes to show up without warning you ha gonna come along for the ride. Depression is the kind of friend that tags along behind you and is always ready to put a damper on any happy situation. But even though the depressing friend is there that doesn't mean that he is in charge. I am in charge of me. I just have to remember that I am not alone. I have people out there that care about me. I have people out there that want me to smile. I have people out there that genuinely care if I cry myself to sleep for the third time in a week. It feels good knowing that there's someone out there that actually cares if I exist. And that is my life boat. That is what keeps me from sinking when the iceberg threatens to sink my boat of life. The amazing people who read my blog mean the world to me. My family means the world to me. And my friends mean the world to me. My boyfriend means the world to me. All of you keep me grounded. You make the worst days into some of the best days that I never thought could happen for me. I love all of you.
I guess that is probably the reason I decided to write this entry. To say thank the people in my life that mean the world to me. Thank all of you. You make life worth living.
Ive been thinking a lot about the past. When I was a little girl. I've been thinking about how connected I was to some family members. They lived behind us. My Aunt and my Uncle. And their daughter my cousin who for some reason I thought was my aunt. The Surbers (I feel so bad that I can't remember the spelling) I remember them like it was yesterday. Aunt Stell and the possums we raised because their mother was hit by a car. And the cats. The kittens. I remember all the talks. She was kind of a downer. She always saw the down side of things. But she never was too busy to talk to me. I would always go see her after work. And I would visit my cousin and it seems like yesterday even though it's been years. I would never trade a second of our time spent together. It was a great time in my life. It's hard to believe that they've been gone for as long as they have. And Cathy moved back to Childress. I miss those days.
Someone said that childhood is the place where nobody dies. I believe it. Because it changed my life when I lost them. It changed my life when my other aunt died. It changed my life when I lost my grandparents. I never truly understood what that meant that childhood was a place where nobody died until losing people that were so dear to my heart that I never thought it was possible to lose them.
This post wasn't supposed to be sad. This wasn't meant to be about death. I wish I could remember who said that quote but I did let you know that I wasn't the one who said it so it's not technically plagiarized. Just covering my bases.
On that note. I am going to end this post.
Thank you everyone who never gave up on me and kept coming back. Thank you for not giving up on me even when it didn't seem likely that I would ever return to this site. You are amazing and I love y'all.
Goodnight, God Bless, and Expect the Unexpected.
Love always,
Dayna H.
I guess you can probably tell that I am listening to her cd at the moment. If you didn't know then you do now.
Today has been interesting. I've been exhausted all day. And I have no clue why I am so tired. Probably someone out there will say that it's because I never shut up and go to sleep. And you might be right. I never know when to shut up. I keep running my mouth and I don't quit until it starts getting awkward. This is something that I need to work on. But that is another first step to getting better. At least I know that I need to work on that. I could be going around annoying people and not seeing it. But I know that I ramble on and on and on. It's what I seem to do best.
But that really isn't what I came here to talk about. The problem is that I can't remember what I started to write about today. I feel like Neville Longbottom from Harry Potter with the remembral his grandmother sent him his first year. I can remember that I was forgetting something. I just don't know what I am forgetting. That is okay. I usually figure it out about midnight when I no longer need what I forgot.
Today my dad got a new phone in the mail. And it's a straight talk iPhone. I am jealous of his iPhone. I miss mine so much more than I would like to admit to myself but that's life.
Tonight I was the only cashier the whole night. But that's okay. It wasn't anything that I couldn't handle. I'm tougher now than I have ever been in my life. Things are actually going my way for the first time in so long that I can't remember the last time that things felt like this. Which makes me a little bit paranoid. I keep thinking that I am too happy. At any moment something is going to happen to strip the happiness from my life again. My friend depression that I have been trying to ditch. But that little guy always seems to want to come back to the party again. Over and over and over. I have to defeat him. He's not a good friend. He's the kind of friend that likes to show up without warning you ha gonna come along for the ride. Depression is the kind of friend that tags along behind you and is always ready to put a damper on any happy situation. But even though the depressing friend is there that doesn't mean that he is in charge. I am in charge of me. I just have to remember that I am not alone. I have people out there that care about me. I have people out there that want me to smile. I have people out there that genuinely care if I cry myself to sleep for the third time in a week. It feels good knowing that there's someone out there that actually cares if I exist. And that is my life boat. That is what keeps me from sinking when the iceberg threatens to sink my boat of life. The amazing people who read my blog mean the world to me. My family means the world to me. And my friends mean the world to me. My boyfriend means the world to me. All of you keep me grounded. You make the worst days into some of the best days that I never thought could happen for me. I love all of you.
I guess that is probably the reason I decided to write this entry. To say thank the people in my life that mean the world to me. Thank all of you. You make life worth living.
Ive been thinking a lot about the past. When I was a little girl. I've been thinking about how connected I was to some family members. They lived behind us. My Aunt and my Uncle. And their daughter my cousin who for some reason I thought was my aunt. The Surbers (I feel so bad that I can't remember the spelling) I remember them like it was yesterday. Aunt Stell and the possums we raised because their mother was hit by a car. And the cats. The kittens. I remember all the talks. She was kind of a downer. She always saw the down side of things. But she never was too busy to talk to me. I would always go see her after work. And I would visit my cousin and it seems like yesterday even though it's been years. I would never trade a second of our time spent together. It was a great time in my life. It's hard to believe that they've been gone for as long as they have. And Cathy moved back to Childress. I miss those days.
Someone said that childhood is the place where nobody dies. I believe it. Because it changed my life when I lost them. It changed my life when my other aunt died. It changed my life when I lost my grandparents. I never truly understood what that meant that childhood was a place where nobody died until losing people that were so dear to my heart that I never thought it was possible to lose them.
This post wasn't supposed to be sad. This wasn't meant to be about death. I wish I could remember who said that quote but I did let you know that I wasn't the one who said it so it's not technically plagiarized. Just covering my bases.
On that note. I am going to end this post.
Thank you everyone who never gave up on me and kept coming back. Thank you for not giving up on me even when it didn't seem likely that I would ever return to this site. You are amazing and I love y'all.
Goodnight, God Bless, and Expect the Unexpected.
Love always,
Dayna H.