Where do I turn when there's no where I can turn to? I am having a little difficulty with life right now. My grades are in the toilet, and I'm pretty sure my best friend hates me. And I don't know why I am writing all this down on the Internet where all that can happen is that it gets me into more and more pain. I'm not so sure how much more than I can take. My parents don't know about all my problems and honestly I think that that's a good thing. They don't need to be more worried about me than they already are.
I realized that I am where I am supposed to be no matter how badly I wish I was in a different situation. I wish I had gotten married back when I wanted to despite all the problems that happened. I wish that I had gotten married because now I am back to to conclusion that I love him and that no matter what I do it's always going to be him because it always was him. Things have happened since then. We broke up, dated someone else and realized that the guy wasn't my type. I realize now that I do have a type. And I realized that my now ex-ex-boyfriend (meaning that he's not an ex anymore), is the one that I can't live without in my life.
I need him in my life.
My best friend doesn't understand why I'm not always going to his house and trying to be around him all the time. Well the answer to that is because its not doable. I'm broke. And my parents can't pay for me to run off to Granite oklahoma every time I want to see my man. So why make waves when it's impossible to do so something? I love him but right now not able to be with him. Does that make any sense? I hope so. Soon we'll be married and together forever. But for now I just have to wait. My life isn't by any means perfect but I wouldn't want it to be. I've got scars and I've got wounds that are deep and un healing but they make me who I am. I wouldn't be the same if I wasn't flawed.
This is the end of my entry for today. I have class in a few minutes but I still leave you with the same advice I usually do. Expect the Unexpected.
I realized that I am where I am supposed to be no matter how badly I wish I was in a different situation. I wish I had gotten married back when I wanted to despite all the problems that happened. I wish that I had gotten married because now I am back to to conclusion that I love him and that no matter what I do it's always going to be him because it always was him. Things have happened since then. We broke up, dated someone else and realized that the guy wasn't my type. I realize now that I do have a type. And I realized that my now ex-ex-boyfriend (meaning that he's not an ex anymore), is the one that I can't live without in my life.
I need him in my life.
My best friend doesn't understand why I'm not always going to his house and trying to be around him all the time. Well the answer to that is because its not doable. I'm broke. And my parents can't pay for me to run off to Granite oklahoma every time I want to see my man. So why make waves when it's impossible to do so something? I love him but right now not able to be with him. Does that make any sense? I hope so. Soon we'll be married and together forever. But for now I just have to wait. My life isn't by any means perfect but I wouldn't want it to be. I've got scars and I've got wounds that are deep and un healing but they make me who I am. I wouldn't be the same if I wasn't flawed.
This is the end of my entry for today. I have class in a few minutes but I still leave you with the same advice I usually do. Expect the Unexpected.