Where did the days go where you could be anything and you could do anything that set your mind to? I used to say that if I could do anything that I set my mind to that I would do some random movie star. But I am not that kind of girl. Lol. I grew up. I was told that I could do anything I wanted to do. That all ended when I got out of elementary school and reality hit me. I probably will never be the president of the United States and I probably will never be a professional singer. Those are some of those things that its more than one in a million that I'd ever make it. It's like one in a gazillion changes. Too bad that the gazillion isn't in my favor. This it me to thinking about something. Why do we do this to ourselves and others. We push te kids to dream but then when they say that they want to do something you push them into a job that they're most likely going to be miserable. I wonder if the world would be a better place if the people that want you to do things that are going to make you miserable would just leave you alone to find your own way. Would we have more of a chance to achieve our dreams or would we be stuck right here in the same situations that we are stuck in?
I know that me wanting to sing on a stage is probably never going to happen. I'm never going to be the next Taylor Swift and I'll never be famous. But do I really need the fame or the recognition? No I really don't think that I do. I am happy not being famous. I am happy that the world doesn't care that I write songs. I am happy that the world doesn't think that I'm awful because I said this or I broke up with that guy because he said something that hurt me and I couldn't get over it. I don't need my face on the cover of a magazine. I don't need to see myself in a movie. I am happy being me. I am a regular college student. Sometimes I hate my classes. Sometimes I hate my life. But I am happy with who I am. I am a strong and confident woman and I just wish that it hadn't taken me so long to realize that I might not be perfect but I don't have to be.
A few years ago I just knew that I was getting married in a few weeks. But no. That didn't happen. It didn't happen because I drug my feet and then he drug his feet and then we just were both scared that we were going to screw everything up and we both tried to run away from the subject of marriage for a little while. I am not running anymore. I've been hurt, I've hurt him too, but I know that if we put aside our differences and work through our problems together that we'll be okay no matter what happens.
A friend of mine asked me what my dreams were. She said that I have forgotten my dreams. She thinks that I have lost sight of the big picture and that I need to find myself before I should ever attempt marriage or I will be miserable I the marriage. She thinks that I am miserable. But the thing is; I am not miserable. I have a roof over my head and a bed I sleep in at night. I don't have anything to worry about right now. And while I'm not jumping up to get a job or a husband; I don't think that I should be rushed right now. I am finding myself in my own way and in my own time. Sometimes I need some variety. Sometimes my family drives me insane. Sometimes I just want to get in my car and drive as far as I can as long as I can and then walk until I can't walk anymore and see where that gets me. But the thing is; that everybody has these feelings. I love my family and while I sometimes feel the need to get away from everything; I don't feel the need to complain about the current situation anymore. My daddy says that that means that I am growing up. Maybe that's what it is. But I am where I right now because there's a reason. I have a purpose and a meaning. Whether that purpose is to draw pictures I make myself happy or to crochet blankets to make my parents happy; I am here for a reason.
I have not lost track of my dreams. I want to be a writer, I want to travel the world, and I want to be a wife and mother. These are the dreams that I hold dear to me. While I might not be a wife and motet right now, I do travel further than many of my friends go, and I am a writer. My writing may not pay the bills or take me places that I've never been before, but I write for many reasons. I write to make a difference in the world, I write to make myself feel better, and I write because well I love writing. Sometimes I wonder if anyone care what I write about and I wonder why I bother with writing anymore but then I remember that if I could help just one person then all this writing is worth it. It's so worth it if I could make a difference in one persons life. That is why I write. That's why I blog. I am currently writing a book and have several book ideas which I will only say that I am really excited about because I will not be writing them on the Internet. I write them to tell people stories. I have found that I can say on paper what I cannot say outloud. Maybe that's a good thing. Sometimes writing things down can get me into trouble. Lol.
Soon I'll be going back to school and I will probably miss my family and I'll feel alone at times but its okay. Everyone has those days and my family is only a phone call away.
But when I go back it will be study study study. And there will be no more lazy crazy college girl. I will be the best that I can be and I will make better grades this next semester.
Okay I bet that you probably don't want to hear about how I vowe to be a better college student. My advice to you is to not give up on your dreams. Hold them in you heart and keep them close to you. Good night and God Bless.
I know that me wanting to sing on a stage is probably never going to happen. I'm never going to be the next Taylor Swift and I'll never be famous. But do I really need the fame or the recognition? No I really don't think that I do. I am happy not being famous. I am happy that the world doesn't care that I write songs. I am happy that the world doesn't think that I'm awful because I said this or I broke up with that guy because he said something that hurt me and I couldn't get over it. I don't need my face on the cover of a magazine. I don't need to see myself in a movie. I am happy being me. I am a regular college student. Sometimes I hate my classes. Sometimes I hate my life. But I am happy with who I am. I am a strong and confident woman and I just wish that it hadn't taken me so long to realize that I might not be perfect but I don't have to be.
A few years ago I just knew that I was getting married in a few weeks. But no. That didn't happen. It didn't happen because I drug my feet and then he drug his feet and then we just were both scared that we were going to screw everything up and we both tried to run away from the subject of marriage for a little while. I am not running anymore. I've been hurt, I've hurt him too, but I know that if we put aside our differences and work through our problems together that we'll be okay no matter what happens.
A friend of mine asked me what my dreams were. She said that I have forgotten my dreams. She thinks that I have lost sight of the big picture and that I need to find myself before I should ever attempt marriage or I will be miserable I the marriage. She thinks that I am miserable. But the thing is; I am not miserable. I have a roof over my head and a bed I sleep in at night. I don't have anything to worry about right now. And while I'm not jumping up to get a job or a husband; I don't think that I should be rushed right now. I am finding myself in my own way and in my own time. Sometimes I need some variety. Sometimes my family drives me insane. Sometimes I just want to get in my car and drive as far as I can as long as I can and then walk until I can't walk anymore and see where that gets me. But the thing is; that everybody has these feelings. I love my family and while I sometimes feel the need to get away from everything; I don't feel the need to complain about the current situation anymore. My daddy says that that means that I am growing up. Maybe that's what it is. But I am where I right now because there's a reason. I have a purpose and a meaning. Whether that purpose is to draw pictures I make myself happy or to crochet blankets to make my parents happy; I am here for a reason.
I have not lost track of my dreams. I want to be a writer, I want to travel the world, and I want to be a wife and mother. These are the dreams that I hold dear to me. While I might not be a wife and motet right now, I do travel further than many of my friends go, and I am a writer. My writing may not pay the bills or take me places that I've never been before, but I write for many reasons. I write to make a difference in the world, I write to make myself feel better, and I write because well I love writing. Sometimes I wonder if anyone care what I write about and I wonder why I bother with writing anymore but then I remember that if I could help just one person then all this writing is worth it. It's so worth it if I could make a difference in one persons life. That is why I write. That's why I blog. I am currently writing a book and have several book ideas which I will only say that I am really excited about because I will not be writing them on the Internet. I write them to tell people stories. I have found that I can say on paper what I cannot say outloud. Maybe that's a good thing. Sometimes writing things down can get me into trouble. Lol.
Soon I'll be going back to school and I will probably miss my family and I'll feel alone at times but its okay. Everyone has those days and my family is only a phone call away.
But when I go back it will be study study study. And there will be no more lazy crazy college girl. I will be the best that I can be and I will make better grades this next semester.
Okay I bet that you probably don't want to hear about how I vowe to be a better college student. My advice to you is to not give up on your dreams. Hold them in you heart and keep them close to you. Good night and God Bless.