I've been thinking about my life lately. About how far that I've come in such a short time. There have been so many things that I've regretted but I realized something. If I had all the mistakes that I've made to do all over again; I would do them exactly the way that I did them. The things that I've done, the chances that I've taken, the mistakes that I've made have brought me to where I am today. I might not be proud of some of the things that I've done but I wouldn't change a thing.
The other day; I was hanging out with a really good friend of mine. Part of the time; I was thinking about how lucky I was to get to know her. Then I thought about how; if I had stayed down south with one of my relatives that I never would've met her at all. I never would've gone shopping that day with my friend, we never would've bought matching sea turtle rings, and we never would've even known each other. This is an example of a good thing that would've never happened. I realized something else that day. God has a reason for everything. Though I don't know what the reasoning behind me coming back was; I know that there's something that I'm meant to do here that I couldn't have done there.
Right now I'm on the phone with one of my other best friends. This brings me back to 2009, a time of great sorrow. I thought that it was going to be the time of my life; but instead I was living in a nightmare. It had nothing to do with the relative that I was living with. I can assure you that. It had something to do with a guy. He said some things that really hurt me. I broke up with him. I didn't even give him a chance to explain. I broke up with hime because I just didn't think that I could bear to hear it. When I hung up that phone; I wanted to shrivel up and just die where I was. But I didn't. I hung on. Eventually I came to my senses and came home. But there is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder what would've happened if I had stayed there and stuck it out. I would've lost my best friend, I would've stayed out of a relationship that I'm in right now, and I never would've met my best friend now. Thing happen for a reason. While I don't know what those may be; I can't deny that they do happen.
April 26, 2007, It was two days after my birthday. A "friend" and I were going to town to shop for our birthdays. I couldn't get over the feeling of dread that I felt as I got into the car. The roads weren't icey. The roads weren't bad at all. We decided that we were going to take the short cut. Not the way that she was used to going. Not a very smart idea wit someone that isn't that "bright." I know that that sounds really mean but I can't get over the feeling of resentment even today. About ten miles out of town is the turn to go around the loop that takes you into town. This girl; instead of slowing down to a safe speed, she tries to take a 90 degree turn going 60mph. I don't know if you know anything about Geometry; but instead of going 90 degrees we ended up going 45, off a deep ditch, through a chainlink fence, and into a natural gas pipe. The cops said that we were really lucky that the car didn't flip. That wasn't the only luck that we had. 1st the car could've flipped. 2nd the car could've exploded on impact, and 3rd it could've exploded whenever we stupidly opened the doors. The stranges thing happened that day though. It was something that I didn't say to anyone other than my own mother. That day in the car; I heard the voice of my uncle telling me to "calm down and get out of the vehicle." Normally that wouldn't be strange to anyone to hear their uncles voice if he were on the fire department. The thing is that my uncle had died two weeks prior to the accident. I feel that he was the voice that God knew I would listen to. I feel that he sent him to be my guardian angel for that short time. Though you might think that I'm just telling you a tale; I can say that it really did happen just like that. Things could've gone really wrong that day. I would not be here to tell the story.
I have one more story that I must tell. January 26, 2008, I went to school that day. The roads were really icey. The roads were really bad. I didn't have a choice though. I got up; and I scraped the windows. I got to school just fine. Then I got sick. Things got so bad that I decided that I was going to go home. I first called home; I didn't trust my driving that day. My dad told me to just suck it up and come on home. I got home. I ended up in a car accident right in front of my house. I have gone over this day in my head time and time again. "I wish I had a time machine syndrom." But I don't have a time machine. I can't turn back the clock and fix what happened. And knowing what I do now; I'm not sure that I would change a thing. I know that it would be really tempting but I don't know if I could do it.
Of the stories that I have told; some people might say that it's just part of my fate.Is it fate? Was it God telling me that I didn't belong in one situation? Was I destined to survive? Was it a fluke? Or was God on my side, simply telling me that it wasn't my time to go yet? I go with the last one. I think that there's something out there that I'm meant to do. Which could go back to the fate or the destiny thing but I believe that my work on Earth is not yet finished. And until I see the Gates of Heaven; I am going to live each day to the fullest and I'm not going to regret the decisions nor the mistakes that I have made along the way. My advice to you is to do the same. If you have someone that is angry at you or vice versa; you need to make things right with them. Don't hesitate. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. If tomorrow never came would they still be harboring harsh feelings towards you? While I am telling you to live to the fullest; I will be joining you. I will be following my own advice today. So until the next time; Carpe Diem!
The other day; I was hanging out with a really good friend of mine. Part of the time; I was thinking about how lucky I was to get to know her. Then I thought about how; if I had stayed down south with one of my relatives that I never would've met her at all. I never would've gone shopping that day with my friend, we never would've bought matching sea turtle rings, and we never would've even known each other. This is an example of a good thing that would've never happened. I realized something else that day. God has a reason for everything. Though I don't know what the reasoning behind me coming back was; I know that there's something that I'm meant to do here that I couldn't have done there.
Right now I'm on the phone with one of my other best friends. This brings me back to 2009, a time of great sorrow. I thought that it was going to be the time of my life; but instead I was living in a nightmare. It had nothing to do with the relative that I was living with. I can assure you that. It had something to do with a guy. He said some things that really hurt me. I broke up with him. I didn't even give him a chance to explain. I broke up with hime because I just didn't think that I could bear to hear it. When I hung up that phone; I wanted to shrivel up and just die where I was. But I didn't. I hung on. Eventually I came to my senses and came home. But there is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder what would've happened if I had stayed there and stuck it out. I would've lost my best friend, I would've stayed out of a relationship that I'm in right now, and I never would've met my best friend now. Thing happen for a reason. While I don't know what those may be; I can't deny that they do happen.
April 26, 2007, It was two days after my birthday. A "friend" and I were going to town to shop for our birthdays. I couldn't get over the feeling of dread that I felt as I got into the car. The roads weren't icey. The roads weren't bad at all. We decided that we were going to take the short cut. Not the way that she was used to going. Not a very smart idea wit someone that isn't that "bright." I know that that sounds really mean but I can't get over the feeling of resentment even today. About ten miles out of town is the turn to go around the loop that takes you into town. This girl; instead of slowing down to a safe speed, she tries to take a 90 degree turn going 60mph. I don't know if you know anything about Geometry; but instead of going 90 degrees we ended up going 45, off a deep ditch, through a chainlink fence, and into a natural gas pipe. The cops said that we were really lucky that the car didn't flip. That wasn't the only luck that we had. 1st the car could've flipped. 2nd the car could've exploded on impact, and 3rd it could've exploded whenever we stupidly opened the doors. The stranges thing happened that day though. It was something that I didn't say to anyone other than my own mother. That day in the car; I heard the voice of my uncle telling me to "calm down and get out of the vehicle." Normally that wouldn't be strange to anyone to hear their uncles voice if he were on the fire department. The thing is that my uncle had died two weeks prior to the accident. I feel that he was the voice that God knew I would listen to. I feel that he sent him to be my guardian angel for that short time. Though you might think that I'm just telling you a tale; I can say that it really did happen just like that. Things could've gone really wrong that day. I would not be here to tell the story.
I have one more story that I must tell. January 26, 2008, I went to school that day. The roads were really icey. The roads were really bad. I didn't have a choice though. I got up; and I scraped the windows. I got to school just fine. Then I got sick. Things got so bad that I decided that I was going to go home. I first called home; I didn't trust my driving that day. My dad told me to just suck it up and come on home. I got home. I ended up in a car accident right in front of my house. I have gone over this day in my head time and time again. "I wish I had a time machine syndrom." But I don't have a time machine. I can't turn back the clock and fix what happened. And knowing what I do now; I'm not sure that I would change a thing. I know that it would be really tempting but I don't know if I could do it.
Of the stories that I have told; some people might say that it's just part of my fate.Is it fate? Was it God telling me that I didn't belong in one situation? Was I destined to survive? Was it a fluke? Or was God on my side, simply telling me that it wasn't my time to go yet? I go with the last one. I think that there's something out there that I'm meant to do. Which could go back to the fate or the destiny thing but I believe that my work on Earth is not yet finished. And until I see the Gates of Heaven; I am going to live each day to the fullest and I'm not going to regret the decisions nor the mistakes that I have made along the way. My advice to you is to do the same. If you have someone that is angry at you or vice versa; you need to make things right with them. Don't hesitate. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. If tomorrow never came would they still be harboring harsh feelings towards you? While I am telling you to live to the fullest; I will be joining you. I will be following my own advice today. So until the next time; Carpe Diem!