Sometimes memories come back to bite you when you least expect it. Daydreaming about the future that you thought you were going to have while living a much different life than you ever thought you would have. Let me tell you a story. But for that we have to take a trip back in time. I was so sure of my feelings for this guy that I just knew I was going to marry him someday. But the truth is that there were so many signs that it wasn't right but I tried to force it becaus I thought that was the future that I was suppose to want. And before I knew it I was too deep to either sink or swim. I started to believe all the lies I told to him trying to make myself seem like a better person. But I realize that the lies I started to believe were the lies that o told myself.
After we were finished the lies started again. But this time I started telling myself that I never really loved him, but the truth is that I may not have started out with the way we were in mind but the truth of us was that I liked the emotions. I liked the way that we fought. I liked the way we walked down the street hand in hand together. These are things that I remember for a long time to come. Here we come to the real reason behind why I am telling anyone the truth about this is that I am done lying. That and for the longest time I was stuck inside a nightmare of a daydream. I was so far out of reality that I almost missed something that was so beautiful with someone else. I almost pushed away the only person that I have never felt like I had to be anyone else with. I almost didn't see that I was in love with someone new.
You're probably wondering why I would take the time to write something like this. No it wasn't meant to hurt my boyfriends feelings. He means the world to me. I guess that the reason behind this post is because I want to talk about dreams.
It is good to have dreams. And sometimes daydreams are great too. But sometimes you get so far into the dram that you don't see what is right there in front of you until it's too late. Sometimes dreams are better than reality. But this time I am so happy I woke up. Because now I can live in the now. Now I can make plans for the future with someone who actually knows the real me. As for the past. It was time to let him have his future with someone who didn't feel the need to hide who they were from him. It was time that I let him have a future where he could be happy. But by freeing the past, I freed myself. I freed myself to the possibilities of the future. I would like to thank my past but I want to thank my future for always being there for me even when I have been completely emotionally unavailable. I know I have been in the past. But this is about to change.
I am finally ready to put the past behind me and to embrace the future that is ahead of me. I'm not saying that I'm done dreaming. I'm just starting a new dream. And I couldn't be more excited about it. And it is to that future that I would like to apologize if this made you think I was just daydreaming about the past.
After we were finished the lies started again. But this time I started telling myself that I never really loved him, but the truth is that I may not have started out with the way we were in mind but the truth of us was that I liked the emotions. I liked the way that we fought. I liked the way we walked down the street hand in hand together. These are things that I remember for a long time to come. Here we come to the real reason behind why I am telling anyone the truth about this is that I am done lying. That and for the longest time I was stuck inside a nightmare of a daydream. I was so far out of reality that I almost missed something that was so beautiful with someone else. I almost pushed away the only person that I have never felt like I had to be anyone else with. I almost didn't see that I was in love with someone new.
You're probably wondering why I would take the time to write something like this. No it wasn't meant to hurt my boyfriends feelings. He means the world to me. I guess that the reason behind this post is because I want to talk about dreams.
It is good to have dreams. And sometimes daydreams are great too. But sometimes you get so far into the dram that you don't see what is right there in front of you until it's too late. Sometimes dreams are better than reality. But this time I am so happy I woke up. Because now I can live in the now. Now I can make plans for the future with someone who actually knows the real me. As for the past. It was time to let him have his future with someone who didn't feel the need to hide who they were from him. It was time that I let him have a future where he could be happy. But by freeing the past, I freed myself. I freed myself to the possibilities of the future. I would like to thank my past but I want to thank my future for always being there for me even when I have been completely emotionally unavailable. I know I have been in the past. But this is about to change.
I am finally ready to put the past behind me and to embrace the future that is ahead of me. I'm not saying that I'm done dreaming. I'm just starting a new dream. And I couldn't be more excited about it. And it is to that future that I would like to apologize if this made you think I was just daydreaming about the past.