Well hello again to the lovely people of the Internet. It is great to figuratively see you again. Here I am again. Writing to you for a second time today and I am totally okay with that because today has been really interesting. Not by societies standards but my own. I woke up this morning and I knew that it was going to be a terrible day. But to be honest today hasn't turned out that bad actually. I got up and I went to work. I found out that we got the soft peppermint sticks that I always hated as a kid but totally love now. So I had a great time buying them with my last few dollars. Totally worth it.
Today didn't start off the best way. I got up and instead of hitting the snooze button on the alarm clock, I turned it off. And when I finally woke up I had to rush but I didn't rush. Instead I took time to blog. So I think that we know what that means. That I should pick the times that I write a little better.
I was about fifteen minutes late to work and I feel terrible about that. I am making plans to make it up to the wonderful lady I was supposed to be relieving. Just haven't figured out how to do that just yet. I will figure it out. Or at least I will try and make her something to say that I am sorry to be such a flake.
Okay we have established that I was having a bad morning. But I have figured out something about myself. I am my own worst enemy. I have always been my own worst enemy. I use to think that it was my boss or the clock. But it's myself who always gets in my way.
I wasn't ready to get married, I wasn't ready to grow up. I push people away from me when I think that they are getting too close and can possibly hurt me. I hurt myself before I let them get close enough to be able to hurt me. It has been a never ending cycle of pain. And I have decided that I am going to put an end to it. No more me standing in my own way of being happy. No more letting fear get in my way. I want to be happy and I am the only one that can make that happen.
And I am pretty sure that Alex has something to do with it too. He makes me smile. For a while he makes me forget about the unhappiness that I have inflicted on myself these past few years.
I blamed my dads heart attack for being the reason that I dropped out of college. To be honest I was about to fail. It was my own fault. Sorry dad. I didn't mean to make you think it was your fault. It was all my own. And I am now taking responsibility for my actions.
Okay that's all I wanted to talk about tonight. Thank you for coming back two times in one day. It means a lot to me that anyone would care what I think.
God bless and goodnight.
Love Always,
Dayna H.
P.s. Here's a picture of a rose in front of my house. It's supposed to be really cold tonight so I wanted to post it so someone might see how pretty it is. You know before it dies from being cold.
Today didn't start off the best way. I got up and instead of hitting the snooze button on the alarm clock, I turned it off. And when I finally woke up I had to rush but I didn't rush. Instead I took time to blog. So I think that we know what that means. That I should pick the times that I write a little better.
I was about fifteen minutes late to work and I feel terrible about that. I am making plans to make it up to the wonderful lady I was supposed to be relieving. Just haven't figured out how to do that just yet. I will figure it out. Or at least I will try and make her something to say that I am sorry to be such a flake.
Okay we have established that I was having a bad morning. But I have figured out something about myself. I am my own worst enemy. I have always been my own worst enemy. I use to think that it was my boss or the clock. But it's myself who always gets in my way.
I wasn't ready to get married, I wasn't ready to grow up. I push people away from me when I think that they are getting too close and can possibly hurt me. I hurt myself before I let them get close enough to be able to hurt me. It has been a never ending cycle of pain. And I have decided that I am going to put an end to it. No more me standing in my own way of being happy. No more letting fear get in my way. I want to be happy and I am the only one that can make that happen.
And I am pretty sure that Alex has something to do with it too. He makes me smile. For a while he makes me forget about the unhappiness that I have inflicted on myself these past few years.
I blamed my dads heart attack for being the reason that I dropped out of college. To be honest I was about to fail. It was my own fault. Sorry dad. I didn't mean to make you think it was your fault. It was all my own. And I am now taking responsibility for my actions.
Okay that's all I wanted to talk about tonight. Thank you for coming back two times in one day. It means a lot to me that anyone would care what I think.
God bless and goodnight.
Love Always,
Dayna H.
P.s. Here's a picture of a rose in front of my house. It's supposed to be really cold tonight so I wanted to post it so someone might see how pretty it is. You know before it dies from being cold.